Impulse

A girl and a boy have a conversation on Facebook. 

1- Trick or Treat

2-t reat treat treat

1- dang 

2- here's the thing

ahem

here's the thing

1- wait, where

2- I have to write a dialogue between two people about anything i want .....

but i don't know what i want

1- women never seem to so that's not too surprising

2- don't worry, no offense taken

1- Haha I didn't think so... SO what are your ideas

2- you see that's the thing..

i have none

1- Ahhhhhhh

2- MAYBE i should just copy and paste this conversation.

1- Haha that would be so smooth. I mean it does fit the criteria. A dialogue. Between two people. I'm a person, you're a person

2- Oh my gosh you're right. Now i'm being all careful about what I say to you cause I think I'm actually going to go with that idea. Facebook is so helpful.

1- So what should I say?

2- Say whatever you want to say I guess...

1- Well I'd like to say that the Jazz destroyed tonight

and that I went Ice Skating last Friday and it was great

2- Let it out, anything you want my fellow bloggers to know. p.s. I'm happy for you.

1- Well in that case, I'd like to thank my parents for allowing me to survive 19 years

2- Haha, and I'd like to thank my parents for being brave enough to try again after having my older brother. Lucky for them, they got me.

1- That is lucky isn't it. I'd like to un-thank my parents for succeeding four more times after me

2-I'm sorry about those four times. Make the best of them. Well, this should complete my assignment. So... I'll probably keep talking to you. Just know that this is over.

1-No, I'm not finished yet!!!

Okay, now I am

Baaaaaad Poetry

I caught a fish.
Put it in a dish.
Then I said, "ish".

Direct Orders

Aaaahem. 

Here's what I need you to do. 

You are under direct orders to rock the frick out. 

Rock out like you have cool socks on.

Like you've got a full tank of gas and you have service in Lake Powell.

Rock out like you just built theee smoothest fort.

Rock out like you just laughed a six pack.

Or like you're at Del Taco and oh my gosh it's 3:00 A.M.

And like you just woke up on the set of Baby Mama.

Rock out like you are proud of that blonde moment.

Like 13 people are messaging you on Facebook.

Like it's Monday night and Gossip Girl is on.

Rock out like the people do when I walk in the room.

Rock out like you just dumped your boyfriend who cheated.

And like you got the one you want and like the one you got rocked out cause they got you.

Rock out like you're funemployed and the consequence hasn't hit you yet.

Or like you just got a date with Ashton Kutcher.

Like Michael Jackson is only hiding.

And like you just graduated from mother freakin high school.

Rock out like you're in a limo and the techno tunes are BUMPIN.

Like you just downloaded a FREE app.

Or like someone who is really good at rocking out is rocking out with you.

Like you're freakin loaded.

Or like when you come into service range and texts in the double digits are blowin up your phone.

Rock out like that annoying chick moved off to college.

Like you just woke up and the clock already struck 10:00.

And like you still have cool socks on.

Or like google looks really cool today.

Rock out like you're dreaming.

Or rock out like it was just a dream.

Shake The Dust

This one,

This is for the chatterboxes who have lisps.

This is for the bikini wearers with big hips.

And for the red light that isn’t good enough to be green.

This is for the innocent who are proven guilty, and for the innocent who need to be proved.

For the girl who loves him who loves a different her.

And for the big sisters who’s little sisters are prettier than them.

Shake the dust.

This one is for the doormats and for those who feel like they need to walk all over them.

For the team who wasn’t supposed to win, and didn’t.

This is for everyone that is wrong, but is actually right.

Shake the dust.

This is for the only kid out of the group that got caught.

For the guy who just couldn’t get the clue.

And for the traffic directors who have better things to do.

This is for the old people who’s bodies make more sounds than a truck.

And for the popcorn machine that gives and gives and gives, and the only thing that comes back to it, it gives.

For those who pour their broken hearts into yet another waste.

Shake the dust.

This is for those who use their hands for hearing and dogs for seeing, wheels for legs and for those who have to beg.

Shake the dust.

This is for those who had one they loved, then lost. And lost. And lost. And lost.

Shake the dust.

This is for the rich, the poor, even the mediocre.

Shake the dust.

This is for everyone out there who has dust to shake, and dust collects everywhere so everyone will take their turn to shake.

My dust collects at different times than your dust.

Eventually your dust will need to be shaken again. And again. And again.

So when the fire has worked its way down the match and is about to burn you with its flame, shake it.

Shake it.

And the relief will overwhelm you when you throw the match away, knowing that you just threw away your stress, struggles, trials and fears.

So shake it away, then again another day. 

I'm Thinking About You

I'm thinking about you like Helen Keller thinks about movies. Like Hitler thinks about Jews. Like Regina George thinks about each and every one of you. I'm thinking about you like fat people think about Thanksgiving. Like monkeys think about bananas. Like Sponge Bob thinks about krabby patties. I'm thinking about you like the Red Sox think about the Yankees. Like Max Hall thinks about Utah fans. Like athletes think about the missed shot. I'm thinking about you like Jim thinks about Pam like Serena thinks about Dan like aunt Jan thinks about uncle Stan like my mom thinks about Sam's... Club. I'm thinking about you like ______ thinks about me. Like I think about ______. Like every single person thinks about ______. Like animals think about ______. Like ______'s own mother thinks about ______. I'm thinking about you like i thinks about Pod. Like nerds think about math class. Like Blair Waldorf thinks about gossip. Like Sunday's think about naps. I'm thinking about you like Sunday night thinks about Monday mornings. Like OCD people think about vacuum lines. Like kids think about step moms. Like girls think about ex boyfriends. I'm thinking about you like girls think about ostentatiously stitched jeans. Like Urkel thinks about Laura. Like bulimics think about toilet bowls. I'm thinking about you like anorexics think about food. Like Su Chin thinks about abortion. Like Su Chin thinks about haters. Like haters think about lovers like haters think about haters like haters think about everything. I'm thinking about you like I love you but I hate you and I don't know what to do so I guess I'll keep thinking about you. 

Oh, What is Love?

10. Love is a battle field.
9. Love is a package deal.
8. Love is finally being able to sneeze.
7. Love is freakin pilates.
6. Love is laughing so hard you can't breathe. 
5. Love is the bbzzzsshhh sound from a slinky.
4. Love is... well... love is pants. 
3. Love is leaving a backpack full of bricks. 
2. Love is a squirrels acorn. 
1. Love is getting a long block in Tetris. 

Intro-freakin-duction

Yooooooooooooodel ay hee hooo. Hey. I'm the Yodeling Goat. A little about myself? Well, I love long walks on the beach, pina colodas, and gettin caught in the rain. I live in a cozy cottage with a dishwasher that sometimes smells weird and I love the word "blogger". But i'm not a blogger. Well, I guess I am now.

Lord Farquad.