SILENCE!

So the other day my step mom comes into the room. I know, great right. The woman tells me she needs some help figuring out her new Drrroooooiiiiidd. Turns out she literally could not figure out how to put the dang thing on silent. Seriously? What century are you from? So, awarding myself most patient human in existence, I begin to explain. But no, she feels the need to tell me that, "I just couldn't figure it out and today I was in the doctors office with Alyssa and even she couldn't figure it out and it just kept going off and off and off ringing and ringing and ringing in the waiting room and people started staring and not only would it keep ringing but on the highest volume in the most annoying ring tone over and over and over again ringing ringing ringing over and over and over again ringing ringing ringing over and over and over again." And I said WOMAN STOP!!! For the loooooove lady!!!!!! If I could put you on silent, believe me I would teach you how to put your dang phone on silent. And you aint the only thing I want to put on silent. I wanna put your yapping dog on silent. I wanna put that country singer on silent. I wanna put the ticking clocks on silent, I can't handle the tick tick tick and can we talk about tick-tok, someone needs to put that Kee-sha, or is it Ke$ha, on silent. Who knows and who cares? Oh, Taylor Morse. I wanna put my alarm clock on silent. And I do! Which only makes me wanna put my teachers on silent when they say, "Late again? Typical." I wanna put my ceramics teacher on silent when she won't stop singing to the freaking sun. I wanna put my mom on silent when she feels the need to talk to me for three hours about how important it is not to litter on the beach, especially water bottles because they will flow into the ocean and diminish, thus releasing toxic chemicals which mess with the fish's hormones causing them to be confused as to which gender they are and I mean they literally "do not know what they are". I'd put Justin Bieber on silent soho fast, and Audrey Levin? Silence, cause I know you'll object to that. I wanna put the male gender on silent when they diss Gossip Girl, or screw it I wanna put them on silent anyway. And speaking of the holy Gossip Girl I wanna put the freaking Proactiv commercials on silent too, and don't forget Flo from Progressive, that's right Flo, silencio. I wanna put that obnoxious boy who thinks he's got swaaaaggg cause he drops F every other word on EFFING SILENT. I wanna put the girl who sits next to me in math class on silent because of the way she says "tuuuunnnaa" and how frequently she does so. I wanna call up Amanda Call and tell her to put her Facebook posts on silent. I wanna put my dad on silent because the only thing he talks about is the UCLA Bruins and that yapping dog which I STILL want to put on silent. All I freaking need is a little freaking silence every once in a freaking while so take your Droid to tech support woman, cause I've got other things to put on silent. 

Film Analysis

Elf
The Ordinary World- Let's pretend that living at the North Pole and working as an elf is perfectly ordinary. This makes Buddy the elf an ordinary person living in an ordinary place.
The Call to Adventure-When buddy's "dad" Papa Elf tells him that he is not is actual father, Buddy is shocked. No one knows why. Because Papa Elf is a real elf, and Buddy is a full blown human just pretending to be an elf. Although he really believes himself to be one. Odd. Buddy learns that his biological father lives in New York City. Buddy now needs to make a decision whether or not he is going to go find his real father.
Refusal of the Call- Buddy wants to find his real father, but that is a journey he would have to go on by himself. This makes Buddy nervous.
Meeting the Mentor- When Buddy meets Leon the snowman, he makes his decision to go on the journey. This is because Leon helps Buddy realize that living at the North Pole with someone who is not his biological father is not what he truly wants.
Crossing the Threshold- Buddy makes his way into New York City.
Tests, Allies, and Enemies- Once getting to not-so-perfect New York City, Buddy discovers something he has never had to deal with before. Tests. Given that Buddy hasn't found a home yet, that provides tests itself.Combined with crossing many rude people, confusion, and feeling alone, Buddy's only hope is to find himself some allies. Emily and Michael, his father's wife and son, become these allies. So why isn't his father an allie himself? As shocking as it may seem, this is because he starts off being Buddy's enemy.
Approach to the Inmost Cave- Buddy may possibly get the chance to reach his goal, which is to make his enemy love him, by getting closer to him. No literally, he's physically closer to him. Buddy only becomes more determined after he is taken in by his father's family, and lives in their apartment with him.
The Ordeal- Why is it so difficult for Buddy to make his father love him? He is only doing this because he loves his father. But what is he doing wrong? He is so innocent  and kind to everyone. When Buddy thinks he is getting closer to his father, he is only pushing him away.
The Reward- Just when Buddy thinks he has hit rock bottom, he gives up and begins to make his way back to the North Pole. But, before he even gets out of the city, he sees a friend who he has been missing. Santa. Santa is so happy to see Buddy because he knows that Buddy can save his sleigh which was crashed in the middle of Central Park. The sleigh can only be saved by someone who believes in Santa, and Buddy seems to be the only one in this city of business people. Once Buddy saves Christmas, the city is filled with Christmas Spirit, and even his father learns that his son is more important than his business.
The Road Back- Did I mention that Buddy has been trying to get a girl? Well, in saving the spirit of Christmas, consider mission accomplished. Buddy and his new lover, Jovie, make their way back to the North Pole together.
The Resurrection- After Buddy's relationship with his father seems like it cannot be redeemed, it comes back better than ever before after Buddy saves Christmas by saving Santa's sleigh and singing in the park.
Return With Elixir-Elf returns to the North Pole with a babe and a new relationship with his real family.

Top Ten Sixers

10. I'll have a number 7 please.
9. Can I get a what what?
8. Sick tight smooth fresh fly dece.
7. Why you so obsessed with me?
6. Stacks on deck, patron on ice.
5. ANOTHER attendance school? That freakin sucks.
4. I want my baby back ribs.
3. Brush, floss, and clean your teeth.
2. Ob- La- Di Ob- La- Da
1. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Song Lyrics

 Same Girl- R Kelly feat. Usher
Lyrics

Plot- R Kelly and Usher realize they're both in love with the same girl.
Character- R Kelly, Usher, and the girl they're in love with.
Conflict- R Kelly is trying to tell Usher about this girl he met, his potential wife, but then he finds out that Usher feels the same way about the same girl, and they don't know what to do.
Theme- Make sure you can trust the one you love.
Setting- Wherever Kells and Ush are kickin it.

Impulse

A girl and a boy have a conversation on Facebook. 

1- Trick or Treat

2-t reat treat treat

1- dang 

2- here's the thing

ahem

here's the thing

1- wait, where

2- I have to write a dialogue between two people about anything i want .....

but i don't know what i want

1- women never seem to so that's not too surprising

2- don't worry, no offense taken

1- Haha I didn't think so... SO what are your ideas

2- you see that's the thing..

i have none

1- Ahhhhhhh

2- MAYBE i should just copy and paste this conversation.

1- Haha that would be so smooth. I mean it does fit the criteria. A dialogue. Between two people. I'm a person, you're a person

2- Oh my gosh you're right. Now i'm being all careful about what I say to you cause I think I'm actually going to go with that idea. Facebook is so helpful.

1- So what should I say?

2- Say whatever you want to say I guess...

1- Well I'd like to say that the Jazz destroyed tonight

and that I went Ice Skating last Friday and it was great

2- Let it out, anything you want my fellow bloggers to know. p.s. I'm happy for you.

1- Well in that case, I'd like to thank my parents for allowing me to survive 19 years

2- Haha, and I'd like to thank my parents for being brave enough to try again after having my older brother. Lucky for them, they got me.

1- That is lucky isn't it. I'd like to un-thank my parents for succeeding four more times after me

2-I'm sorry about those four times. Make the best of them. Well, this should complete my assignment. So... I'll probably keep talking to you. Just know that this is over.

1-No, I'm not finished yet!!!

Okay, now I am

Baaaaaad Poetry

I caught a fish.
Put it in a dish.
Then I said, "ish".

Direct Orders

Aaaahem. 

Here's what I need you to do. 

You are under direct orders to rock the frick out. 

Rock out like you have cool socks on.

Like you've got a full tank of gas and you have service in Lake Powell.

Rock out like you just built theee smoothest fort.

Rock out like you just laughed a six pack.

Or like you're at Del Taco and oh my gosh it's 3:00 A.M.

And like you just woke up on the set of Baby Mama.

Rock out like you are proud of that blonde moment.

Like 13 people are messaging you on Facebook.

Like it's Monday night and Gossip Girl is on.

Rock out like the people do when I walk in the room.

Rock out like you just dumped your boyfriend who cheated.

And like you got the one you want and like the one you got rocked out cause they got you.

Rock out like you're funemployed and the consequence hasn't hit you yet.

Or like you just got a date with Ashton Kutcher.

Like Michael Jackson is only hiding.

And like you just graduated from mother freakin high school.

Rock out like you're in a limo and the techno tunes are BUMPIN.

Like you just downloaded a FREE app.

Or like someone who is really good at rocking out is rocking out with you.

Like you're freakin loaded.

Or like when you come into service range and texts in the double digits are blowin up your phone.

Rock out like that annoying chick moved off to college.

Like you just woke up and the clock already struck 10:00.

And like you still have cool socks on.

Or like google looks really cool today.

Rock out like you're dreaming.

Or rock out like it was just a dream.